God's Rain

We spent a lot of years early in our marriage pursuing happiness.  And we made the same fatal mistake that most young adults make when they start seeking happiness.  We decided that happiness was somewhere where we were not. We moved to Boston and took a job with a lucrative startup company.  But despite living in a nice townhome with our two adorable little boys we spent our days wishing we were somewhere else.  When we had made it big, when we moved back by family and bought a big home, then we would be happy.  Boston was just a stop on the road to where we wanted to be. We worked hard very very hard and we saved our money.  We didn’t take time to walk the Freedom trail or to eat lobster.  We were sure that just around the next bend in the corner, after this phase of life, we would arrive at our destination.  .  We invested little in our relationships with each other instead investing in work and church and feeling perpetually more and more...

  This past week I found myself signed up for too much.  My little red wagon of energy was trying to do an SUV worth of work.  I was exhausted.  Thursday night I had a rough night as multiple deadlines approached and I found myself frantically trying to get everything done.  I was suffering from sleep deprivation and headaches and I kept asking “How did I get myself into this mess.” Enter prayer.  Friday morning the family prayed for me at our family prayer, asking God that some things might be taken off my plate.  As if by magic, some commitments that I made started being taken off my plate - a playdate was cancelled, a son magically cleaned the house while we were on a date, my husband made dinner because the Internet went out and he was working from home, he also did the grocery shopping because he had extra time when taking a son to his cross country meet.  This gave me energy to work on some projects that I should not have signed up for in th...

Sometimes when I am around those who are not members of our church I kind of don't mention the Book of Mormon.  Like it's dirty laundry that I stuffed in the dryer.  What a shame!  The Book of Mormon has changed my life!  I feel the need to not understate the tremendous impact for good that the Book of Mormon has been in my life.  So here are some things I have learned from the Book of Mormon that I couldn't learn anywhere else: I have learned that I can be forgiven of anything through the Atonement of Jesus Christ: Alma 36 for me is the seminal chapter on the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  The story of Alma is the story of a father named Alma who has a very sinful son, also named Alma.  Alma the elder fasts and prays for his son and his son has a redemptive experience where he is forgiven of all of the sinful things he has done and goes on to become a great man and a powerful missionary.   It is a beautiful redemption story - of how far we can...

I believe that loving our individual, unique selves is something that we can and should do.   We don’t need to boast.  We don’t need to flaunt.  But in private moments when we catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror, or when we have a chance for honest self-evaluation I believe that there needs to be a little bit less self-loathing and a little more gratitude and confidence that we are beloved children of a brilliant God who is a master creator and who does not make mistakes. He created us not to be doted upon or as ornaments but as interesting, amazing, diverse beings who have a tremendous capacity for usefulness, enjoyment, creation, and sociality.   Like many mothers I have watched my daughter start middle school with much trepidation and worry that her elementary school confidence - despite glasses and complete ignorance of fashion - would give way to low self-esteem and comparison.  I hope that she will grow in her love of God and come to know ...

  All of us have had the experience of traveling down the highway of life only to have an orange detour sign send us down a completely unwelcome and unanticipated road.  The loss of a job.  Sudden health challenges.  Financial reverses.  Accident.  Family upheaval.  These experiences can leave us wondering what we did wrong. We have experienced almost every one of the above misfortunes and we have found that one simple thing makes all of these lemony experiences a little sweeter.  Gratitude. This is not just passively sitting and counting your blessings - although this never hurts. It’s not even thanking others for all they have done for you (also a good idea).   I am talking about active gratitude whereby you take stock of your circumstances and see a world full of possibilities instead of darkness.  You see a new world of things to do, people to help, and burdens to lift.  Where one door closes.  Another opens.  Thi...

  The other night I was awakened by an awful feeling of sadness at an opportunity that I had missed through my own mistakes.  My soul ached as I opened my Book of Mormon to 4 Nephi 1:9 and read the words ``there were many cities which had been sunk…and these cities could not be renewed.”  The Lord seemed to be telling me that the opportunity was gone.  “No, please give me another chance.”  But I felt that it was now too late.  I prayed to the Lord with a spirit of sadness.  “What can I do now?”  And the words seemed to come: “Forgive yourself.” I have yelled at my children.  Made cutting remarks to loved ones.  I have offended family members who have still not forgiven me (almost twenty years later).  I have lost money.  I have broken things.  I have gotten in car accidents.  But I think that the mistakes that hurt the most are the ones where I disappointed God.  Where he was counting on me to do something or to ...